The Kindness of Strangers

My baby has recently taken to sleeping like this. Face straight down. Sometimes she put her hands down, sometimes not. Now, this girl does nothing the easy way. Her rolling over skills started as back to tummy, which is more difficult. So she can easily get to her stomach but back to her back is sometimes tricky for her. This new sleeping arrangement had me terrified. Images of suffocation, re-breathing and chocking all danced in my head. I posted this on Facebook and asked for recommendations. A few people responded with Angelcare mat being the answer to a sound night sleep.

Holy expensive nights’ sleep, Batman.

Being that we don’t know what the future holds for us, whether it wouls work or us, or how  long it will be before our baby (a physical overachiever) is able to move around in her crib, we were hesitant to buy it new. Through the magic of Facebook and the kindness of near strangers, she’s slept the last two nights on an Angel mat.

A friend from high school understood my plight and offered to let us borrow her’s. Now keep in mind we only connect through Facebook and haven’t physically seen each other  in the 10 years since we graduated. I was blown away by her generosity. I only hope I can pay it forward when my time comes!

A late-night conversation

I am simple. I own very few clothes. I could’t really care less about my appearance most days. As part of this, I don’t own a black belt and for a good part of the last year, I have been unable to locate my brown one. (Good news, I located it in my closet this week when I cleaned it out.) I had a gift card to a local store that I received for Christmas. I went shopping this week with my sister-in-law and purchased a black belt. She thought it was no big deal. In our house, this was HUGE NEWS! The conversation I had about it with my husband makes me laugh even now.

Me: (After we had been in bed for about 20 minutes and he was clearly snoring) Hey, are you asleep?
Husband: What?
Me: I was just wondering if you were asleep.
Husband: Yes.
Me: Oh, well, then nevermind.
Husband: What?
Me: Well, I forgot to tell you what I bought today.
Husband: Okay.
Me: A black belt.
Husband: WOW! You are kidding! A BLACK BELT!
Me: Yes! And I located my brown one yesterday when I cleaned out the closet.
Husband: Are you kidding? You now have a brown and a black belt.
Me: Yes. Your sister thought it was crazy that I thought you’d be excited about me buying a black belt, but I knew you would be.
Husband: Wow. You have really turned over a new leaf!
Me: I know, it’s amazing.
*Silence for about three minutes.
Husband: Wow. A black belt. I can hardly believe it.

It was super funny to us and made me smile today a few times as I thought about it. Who knew a black belt could provide 1) a conversation and 2) such a positive response from my husband!

Tis the Season

So, I’ve been pretty busy what with work, wrapping, planning festivities and a sick kid and I haven’t been writing as much. But I’ve been reading. I came across this post this morning and I like it. I asked the author and she said it was okay to publish it here. So, here you go….my first guest author!

Things that make me happy around the holiday season

Families who together ring the Salvation Army bell (particularly the ones who sing!)
-The man at the coney island who paid for a family of five’s entire meal out of the Christmas spirit
-Seeing people make holiday cookies together
-All the presents wrapped and ready to be enjoyed
-Bulldog calendars!
-Eddie wearing a holiday neck scarf
-Christmas lights, anytime and anywhere
-Thinking about how dramatically different next Christmas will be with a little one

To read more from this author, visit her blog at Brewanothercup.blogspot.com.

Wordless Wednesday-Paws

I’m a sucker for giant paws. This picture is of polar bear paws at a zoo near our house. I’m drawn to giant animal paws. I have no idea why. We have a giant-breed dog who has always had ginormous paws. Fuzzy paws. They just make me smile.

Not every gift comes in pretty paper

This weekend we started a new tradition with friends.

Every year, I add a number of people to my Christmas list. These are friends. Friends who sometimes have to take a backseat to life. While they understand, that’s not how I choose to maintain my friendship–my close friends know that. Anyway, I shop and wrap them gifts and then find a way to squeeze them in during all the other commitments we have to family and whatnot. It’s not fair to them.

Afterall, friends are the family we choose for ourselves. And some of my friends…well, yeah, that goes without saying.

Anyway, this year, some of my friends and I decided not to spend the time shopping, wrapping and cramming, but instead to spend an evening together. It was so nice. We made dinner, we ate, we visited, we caught up. It’s so incredibly nice to have friends who are willing and able to take the time to meet up, and whose husband gets along with mine and who understands that we have children and our lives are not bar-hopping, heavy-drinking, late-night crazy anymore. It was a very nice time.

The next day, I had a repeat performance with my best friend, except we met up sans significant others and children. See, we like this particular restaurant that it seems no one else likes. So, what better place to meet up? We had a great, great time.

Both were better than any gift I could receive.

So this year, I encourage you to remember that the best things in life sometimes don’t come in any package at all.

Pride

Mommy blogging. Who would have thought even five years ago that the Internet would allow mother’s to connect across the country and seriously impact the perceptions of other moms. I’ve got to admit, I’m hooked on mommy blogs. I read many of these blogs every single day. And while I’m sure the authors don’t like to be pigeon-holed as mommy-bloggers, that’s how I see them, and I think they should be proud of that.

Many of the moms have branched out from the typical blogs to also include Twitter accounts. They tweet about their day, products they like, good or bad customer service and reaching out for others.

Last night @military_mom’s son drowned in the swimming pool. I saw no less than 100 tweets asking for prayers for her family.

A few weeks ago, a thirty-something mommy-blogger @anissamayhew had a stroke and is currently in massive recovery mode to regain even the recognition of her family.

We prayed for Stellan through @MckMama’s posts. We’ve cried with @MattLogelin.

But the one thing I see time and time again from these mommy bloggers in pride in a higher power. They ask people to pray. They express what their religion means to them. They see more than Santa and gifts in Christmas. They refer others to their favorite Christian radio stations online and their favorite Bible versus…the ones that comfort them and encourage them.

In a society where the government preaches the separation of church and state, where schools will gladly  promote Santa but not the true meaning of Christmas, where we have changed celebrations from Christmas parties to holiday celebrations, these mommy bloggers still hold on to their religion. They cling to it. And most importantly, they share it.

And they do it proudly.

As someone who has grown up with religion in the house and as a mom who is trying to instill this in her own children, it makes me feel good that I’m not alone and my child won’t be alone in a world where it feels religion is falling away.

That makes me smile.

Wordless Wednesday-Oh Christmas Tree Ornaments

Oscar the Grouch. I’ve had this ornament on my Christmas tree for a long, long time. My mom got it for me when I was just starting out having my own Christmas tree. We have lots of important ornaments on our tree. Some mark the date of our wedding, the year we bought our first house, the year our first child was born, and some are from places we have traveled.

This year, the first year our toddler has been able to “help” decorate the tree, I got out the Oscar ornament to hang on the tree. She helped me hang i then said “Where Elmo?” I said “We don’t have Elmo.” She said “Where Big Bird?” Again, I explained, in toddler terms that this was the only Sesame Street-related ornament we had. She loves it, so since it isn’t breakable, we hung it down low. She brings it to me from time to time, claiming it “fell off” the tree, which I’m sure it didn’t. Yesterday my infant was sitting near the tree, just watching the lights. I took her up close to get a better look, and guess what ornament she was drawn too? That’s right Oscar the Grouch.

This ornament has new meaning in our house this year!

What ornaments are special in your house?

Today’s Smile-Give it your all

Two nights a week, my husband takes night classes. I’m incredibly proud of him for doing this, even though it leaves me with the daunting task of what I will call the longest days of the week. Two nights in a row, I get home from work, make dinner, clean up, feed two kids, bathe them and try to get anything else accomplished (laundry, freelancing, whatever) and get them off to bed on time. I’m sure lots of people face this challenge and single parents do it nightly. But for me, I’m used to having my teammate around to help with one thing or another.

Admittedly, I get distracted. I don’t alway sit at the table with my toddler until she’s done eating. My husband is the slowest eater in history and apparently, she has inherited that trait from him.  Sometimes I wash bottles while she finishes her meal. Sometimes I load or unload the dishwasher. My infant just started on solid foods, sometimes while I’m feeding her, I turn on the kitchen TV or read a magazine between her bites.

That’s not giving it my all.

This week, I decided that one activity each night deserved all of my attention.

Monday, while feeding my infant, I did nothing but feed her. Well, I sang some songs while I was feeding her but that was for her amusement. She seemed to enjoy having my entire attention for every.single.spoonful. of sweet potatoes that went into her mouth. And despite my full attention, it was still a messy meal.

My toddler always asks “wanna pay?” which, interpreted means want to play? Most nights I list for her all of the things I have to do before I can sit down and devote my time to playing with her ball popper or putting together puzzles just so she can destroy them. I’ve made it my goal to say “yes” without thinking about getting the bags ready for the next day. Last night, we colored. She had my undivided attention for nearly a half hour of coloring, which in her world is about the equivalent of three coloring books. She enjoyed it and so did I.

I know this is related to my post about letting things go. But this is more about devoting your entire self to an activity.

When giving a bath to your child, don’t use the time to read a magazine. Play with them.
When Skyping with your sister-in-law, don’t chat on Google Chat too, just talk to her.
When having a conversation with your mother, don’t be paying bills, just listen to her.

Each activity is so much more fulfilling.

Duking it out

So my husband ordered me a very nice Christmas gift.  It’s something that I need pretty badly. He had me off the scent but then UPS showed up with a box labeled, HP Laptop. “The Computer is Personal Again.” I happened to be the one to open the door and it’s pretty hard to miss that label. He opened the box that night to make sure it wasn’t defective or anything, but then we returned it to the box.

Now it’s out there. In fact, it’s sitting on our bedroom floor.

If this were the case in your house, would you make the receiver wait it out until Christmas, or let them use it right away?

I prefer presents to be an unexpected surprise. I think I should have to wait. He’s itching to use it because it does LOTS of cool things, including allow us to watch a tree lighting via Web cam on our big TV (ah the magical HMDI cable).

But I’m patient. I’ve had two children and didn’t care learn the gender in advance either time.

Friends from far off places

Oh what a tangled web of friendships we weave.

I had a friend a few years ago. We hung out a bit. We went to the same college but didn’t major in the same thing. We’ll call her friend J.

When I was getting married, I looked around online for wedding information and was introduced to the world of blogging and message boards. I found one online community run by a girl, we’ll call her E. It was a local group, which was nice. People would post their experiences with local vendors and discuss cool things to do that were sort of typical to this area. One day, friend J discovered I was using this community and said, “hey. I’m friends with E who runs that community and you guys are so alike. You should meet.” So E and I started comparing notes. Sure enough, we also went to the same college, majored in the same subject and graduated a year apart, but never met. Thanks to J, we got together at a local art museum to bond over a common medium. We grew to be friends very quickly.

Through this online community, a few people became virtual friends essentially. We read all about each other’s weddings and drama leading up to it, and sometimes more. But we never met. There was a girl, we’ll call her B, who stayed in touch with me long after our weddings. We read each other’s blogs. We became Facebook friends. I knew lots about her, except what she was like in person. We had a lot in common, our love of dogs and photography for example.  So I invited her on the photo walk that I posted about yesterday. And she came. And we met. And she was great!

It was scary to meet someone who I had only known online. However, I “knew” her for a few years now and I was excited to move beyond the virtual world.

My husband thinks this entire thing is weird. But making friends isn’t as simple as finding someone on the street and calling him or her your new BFF.  Sometimes it takes meeting a friend through another or bonding over shared interests. And since I’m not in college anymore and have fewer free hours, I’m all about connecting with people on a different level first.

It sounds like I’m trying to justify my friendship, but what I’m really trying to tell you is that friends can come from anywhere. Keep your eyes open and explore new places and new things, you never know who you will meet and where! I have made friends online, at work, at school, in our neighborhood and through other people. I have to say that all of my friends brings something to my life that can’t be replicated by another friend. I am so thankful for them and they all make me so happy to have them as part of my life.